Dear God,

I’m still thinking about Manda’s friends. I don’t know why they are thinking negatively about me. I’m not making something wrong to them. I remembered the time when I was introduced to them. At that time, something happened. I did not handshake with Ine. I thought I knew her already (we ever met before) so that it wasn’t too important to handshake with her. But unfortunately, she was the only one that I did not handshake with. And it finally has become problem until today eventhough I’ve explained everything to her, said my sorry and she had understood enough (as she said via SMS). I thought this case was closed and not a big problem. But I was totally wrong.

I don’t know what they are thinking about me, what ‘unreal’ story they have made with their own thinking and what gossip that has spread throughout their community. And for me this is not fair. They didn’t know anything. They didn’t know the true story. I’m feeling sad and uncomfortable. Why do they act so childish? I thought in our age we should be act more like adult then like child. Why do they still ‘life in the past’? Just because Ine ever had special relationship with Manda when they were in Senior High School then this become a problem? How if that time the one that I did not handshake with is somebody else (not Ine), do this still become a ‘long-term’ problem? Just You know everything, God. And You are my defender.

I love Manda and I accept all things that he brings into our relationship not only his ethnical background, family condition, good and bad temper, but also his past including with whom he ever had a special relationship. I know that it could not be separated from him. And I also know that it is just the past. No need to be opened again. It was all over. And now we need to make boundaries with our old and new relation with man or woman because I’m not alone now, so is he. I just hope they do understand, forget the thing that ever happened because it already cleared and the important one is not to relate this with the past because for me this is fulsome. God, I hope I can be endure and wiser to face this.