Dear God,

I’m still thinking about Manda’s friends. I don’t know why they are thinking negatively about me. I’m not making something wrong to them. I remembered the time when I was introduced to them. At that time, something happened. I did not handshake with Ine. I thought I knew her already (we ever met before) so that it wasn’t too important to handshake with her. But unfortunately, she was the only one that I did not handshake with. And it finally has become problem until today eventhough I’ve explained everything to her, said my sorry and she had understood enough (as she said via SMS). I thought this case was closed and not a big problem. But I was totally wrong.

I don’t know what they are thinking about me, what ‘unreal’ story they have made with their own thinking and what gossip that has spread throughout their community. And for me this is not fair. They didn’t know anything. They didn’t know the true story. I’m feeling sad and uncomfortable. Why do they act so childish? I thought in our age we should be act more like adult then like child. Why do they still ‘life in the past’? Just because Ine ever had special relationship with Manda when they were in Senior High School then this become a problem? How if that time the one that I did not handshake with is somebody else (not Ine), do this still become a ‘long-term’ problem? Just You know everything, God. And You are my defender.

I love Manda and I accept all things that he brings into our relationship not only his ethnical background, family condition, good and bad temper, but also his past including with whom he ever had a special relationship. I know that it could not be separated from him. And I also know that it is just the past. No need to be opened again. It was all over. And now we need to make boundaries with our old and new relation with man or woman because I’m not alone now, so is he. I just hope they do understand, forget the thing that ever happened because it already cleared and the important one is not to relate this with the past because for me this is fulsome. God, I hope I can be endure and wiser to face this.

A pickpocket (again????!!!???)

Remember my story before.. It titles mandaquu.. For brevity's sake, i was almost got stolen by pickpocket.. Thank God, it never happened.. and unfortunetly, today i met that guy again.. the same person.. he stole four hand phone today at a bus where i was in it (everyone around me told about it). He sat right infront of me. He looked so calm, like nothing happen, like he didn't do anything wrong. Everyone looked at him. But he ignored all the eyes that look straight to him. So cool-blood pickpocket. The anxious ambience came around me. I feel so scared. I could not even explain what i really felt that time. But he has made me keep weather eye open. I ever looked him twice, but a man sitting next to me ever met him 4 times. When i was on my way office, i thought too much about it. Why didn't anyone of the people in that bus ask him or say something to him so he could stop his action? They knew that he was a pickpocket, but why did they have no courage to tell someone in charge? I couldn't answer all that question. But one thing i could say "Thank You God.. for always guards me.."

Confuse

I want to tell everything, but I don't know where to start. It feels like killing me slowly but sure. I hope someday all this things will showed up. I don't know where to stand, who i can lean on. I really don't like this.

mandaquuu...

Dear Manda,

Sesi Curhat: Mandaqu.. tadi anet hampir aja dicopet.. wkt di P6 tadi pagi, anet kan bergelantungan (hihihi - berasa kae monyet aja) terus waktu itu busnya penuh.. tiba-tiba anet denger ada suara aneh asalnya dari tas anet.. ssrrrrrtttt.. jadi spontan aja anet memalingkan wajah ke arah sumber bunyi itu.. upss.. ga da apa-apa.. anet ngeliat ke orang sekeliling sampe pandangan anet tertuju sama seorang cowo berbaju merah yang berdiri pas samping kiri anet.. rasanya ada yang aneh ama orang itu.. tapi anet ga curiga.. anet mikirnya "oo.. mungkin pas dia balik badan, tasnya bergesekan ama tasnya anet makanya tadi kedengaran bunyi yang aneh.." sounds good kan.. anet berpikir positif.. yeee.. terus pas di slipi si cowo itu pun turun beserta dengan begitu banyak orang yang lain, dan akhirnya busnya pun udah keliatan aga kosong.. terus perhatian anet tertuju sama bapak-bapak yang duduk di deket supir. Dia nanya sama seorang perempuan yang berdiri dekat dia. "Mba, ga ada yang hilang dari tasnya?" spontan sih perempuan melihat isi tasnya.. "Ga ada, pak" terus si bapak bilang kalo tadi ada yang mau nyopet, "tuh yang pake baju merah." sambil menunjuk cowo berbaju merah yang uda turun.. dalam hati "WWhhhaaattt???" terus anet meriksa tas anet juga.. oo.. ga ada yang hilang kog.. singkat cerita, anet nyampe kantor dengan hati yang senang dan wajah yang berseri-seri karena ga terlambat.. yeee.. pas mau meletakkan tas di meja anet melihat ada yang salah sama tasnya anet.. "yaa ampuunn!!!" tasnya anet disilet.. jadi ternyata bunyi yang tadi anet dengar adalah bunyi tas yang disilet.. hikss.. hikss.. sedih.. tasnya anet rusak padahal itu tas yang dibeliin mama.. hiks.. hiks.. tapi dalam hati juga anet bilang "Thanks God! Tuhan baik" karena ga ada yang hilang.. anet jadi belajar buat lebih berhati-hati dan waspada.

Sesi ga jelas: mandaqu... kangeeennnnn...

sampe situ dulu yah cerita anet.. anet sayang manda.. anet ga apa2 kog.. baik-baik aja..

Luvyu..

aaaaaaaaarrrrgggghhhhhh...

What i really want now is go out from office. I hope i can finish the task today, but i'm not sure i can. Always look at the same presentation. the more i look to it and try to understand, the more it make me crazy.. i don't understand the whole presentation. i don't know what the leader tomang really mean with his presentation. Really, Not clear.. aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh............
hope this will end soon..

i'm stuck..

kerjaan hari ini begitu-begitu aja.. nothing special.. uda gitu skrg gi stuck.. what do i suppose to do? hope the idea will come soon.. :( hope so..

Miss ikan tude bakar..

Hari ini, kerjaan dikantor membosankan.. Ga ada yang baru hari ini..

Jadi ngantuk deh.. Enaknya ngapain yah sekarang? yah, ngeblog..

btw, aku jd ingat sabtu kmrn, wkt lagi nungguin pacarku, aku menelfon temen-temanku di manado.. I miss them alot.. Jadi ingat kita, kita suka ngumpul di rumah Dety, masak bareng, bikin kue, nonton dorama sampe Lian nangis terharu ("semoga ini tidak terjadi di kehidupan nyata.." sambil menyeka air matanya.. huehehehe), nonton 21 bareng.. paling aneh wkt kita nonton Otomatis Romantis sampe 2x.. waktu nonton pertama lucu banget.. tapi waktu nonton yang kedua kalinya.. yah... jadi biasa2 aje tuh.. tp yg ga biasa waktu nonton kedua kali, kita bw orang baru.. Hens.. hahhaha.. waktu itu dia lg pedekate ma Lian.. tapi ga jadian juga sih mereka sekarang Lian punya pacar (ngegosiiippp niiiyy... hehhehe.. Sori Lian, i just tell the truth)..

dan satu sebenernya yang paling aku rindukan.. makan ikan tude bakar di Boulevard.. hem.. enak banget.. ada cah kangkungnya.. huuuuuu... pengeeennnn...

tapi udalah.. home i'll be back home soon.. hope so ^_*

thank God, for friends like them..

thank God for the time that we spent together..

i always miss it..

kishy weekend..

I must spend this weekend with feelings that i can not explain, what exactly it is. Drowning in my job which I don't know when it will end, but I still can not understand all the things. Truly, what is going on? I don't even know if I can hold on or should I giving up to this situation? I need it clearly explain to me. But no one wants to help. So far, I don't understand. I want to cry out load so everyone listen and let me know everything that I want to know. But, how could I? Maybe I'm unworthy to get it. Hem.. Let this feeling be mine..

it's not because silence is GOLD but it's HURT!

siapa bilang diam itu emas.. mungkin begitu.. tapi ga selalu begitu..
do u know, for me sometimes silence is hurt..
seandainya kita punya kekuatan supranatural untuk mengetahui apa yang sebenernya dirasakan seseorang yang sedang tenggelam dalam diamnya.. kita mungkin akan lebih mengerti..
tapi kita tak pernah tau kalo kita tak pernah bicara.. speak up!
kecuali kalo kita tak pernah ingin memberi kesempatan seseorang untuk bicara..